What a Young Breast Cancer Survivor Wants You to Know About Breast Cancer Awareness Month
I was diagnosed with stage II invasive ductal carcinoma in December 2020 at age 33. After a bilateral mastectomy and 4 rounds of chemotherapy, I am now on hormone suppression for the next 5-10 years.
I have a flat chest, short, awkward hair, and I’m in a medically-induced menopause in my 30s to try to prevent a cancer recurrence. I don’t have a lot of feeling in my chest where my breasts used to be (except for random phantom itching that is just plain trippy), I almost lost my fingernails to chemo (who knew?), and a side effect of the hormone suppression is muscle and joint pain that I’m living with daily (not to mention the hot flashes).
I am strong! I am a fighter! Cancer picked the wrong girl! Will it come back? Will it be worse? Will these side effects ever get better? Oh god, I hope my daughter doesn’t get it one day...
But I’m living, and I’d do it over and over again for that outcome.
Now, when you think of breast cancer treatments, you expect pain, sickness, and unpleasant side effects. What I didn’t expect was the feelings that would come with the first Breast Cancer Awareness month post-diagnosis.
Like most things involving cancer, it’s a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute I’m feeling strong, singing Andra Day’s “Rise Up.” The next minute I’m refusing to pick up my phone because I can’t read one more story about breast cancer or see one more ad for pink ribbon clad merchandise.
Seeing breast cancer ribbons everywhere and saying I’m a breast cancer survivor is simultaneously empowering and terrifying. The thought process that it evokes is something like…
I am strong! I am a fighter! Cancer picked the wrong girl! Will it come back? Will it be worse? Will these side effects ever get better? Oh god, I hope my daughter doesn’t get it one day...
The other caveat is that with the amount of pinkwashing out there, it feels overwhelming to know which companies are actually supporting breast cancer research or helping breast cancer patients, and which are just profiting off adding a pink ribbon to their merchandise. (This is a real thing… there are no regulations around using pink ribbons or making a product pink in the name of Breast Cancer Awareness.)
It’s all so very exhausting.
Don’t get me wrong, awareness is amazing. I am so glad that every October women are reminded to schedule mammograms and do self-exams. I’m so glad that every October men are reminded that they can get breast cancer, too. I’m thrilled that money is given to research and patients and survivors.
But if I, or my fellow survivors, are a little quiet about breast cancer awareness on social media, don’t sign up to do the next awareness walk, or don’t wear our pink ribbon shirts everyday this month, just remember that it’s a lot. It’s heavy. And we’re tired.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by it all, too, but want to do something to acknowledge the cause, it’s as simple as donating directly to an organization you know is supporting survivors and thrivers or taking the time to get to know your breasts so you can detect any changes. Be proactive with your health. It’s what saved my life!
Randi Grant is a writer and marketing manager living in Southern California with her husband and daughter. She was diagnosed with stage II invasive ductal carcinoma in December of 2020 at age 33. She hopes sharing her story of a young diagnosis during a pandemic will inspire others to be proactive about their health at any age and under any circumstances. Her writing can also be found in the new book Chicken Soup for the Soul: Tough Times Won’t Last, But Tough People Will.
